Dear Scene Kids

Please adhere to these words of advice before attending your next musical gathering.

● This is a concert, not a place to hang. If you're not listening to the music, get out.
● Stop moshing. It's certainly appropriate during certain songs by certain bands, however it is not necessary to express your deep, animalistic desire to smash into other humans during every song by every band.
● Stop being an advertising tool. We already know you shop at either Hot Topic or The Gap. So do we. We just don't dress like it.
● Stop flourishing your peacock feathers. You already have a boyfriend or girlfriend. He or she probably came with you to the show. If you two are really infatuated with each other, you don't need to dress like whores. Otherwise, your relationship is a sham and you should probably ditch it before it goes too far, huh?
● Stop trying to buy alcoholic beverages. We know you're under 21. So does the bartender.
● Stop trying to be cool by smoking. If that's your definition of cool, you should go down to the trailer park and talk to the people who sound like ancient locomotives.
● Put your shirt back on. No one wants to share your mansweat.
● Watch your mouth. You just become that much more of a clown with each cussword that leaves it.
● If you're going to be a delinquent, don't be surprised when Mr. Policeman busts your ass. And don't be delinquent, because you'll ruin the show for the rest of us.
● If you don't know the band that's onstage, get out.
● Goth, death metal, emo music, and music that might be relatable to such music, sucks. If you enjoy such musical styling, please attend an appropriate musical gathering. That is to say: get out.
● This is not high school. Stop trying to be the center of attention. Guess what: the guys on the stage up there? We came to see them. Not you.
● Stop being fucking idiots.